anxious hospitality

right now i'm supposed to be writing a paper for my ministry-in-context (mic, our version of field placement) class about congregational anxiety.  instead i'm going to blog about hospitality (there's a connection that i'm sure you'll get pretty quickly).

this weekend a friend from slovakia was visiting.  his sister (another friend) is studying abroad in washington and so he came to the usa to visit her and decided to also visit me in chicago while he was here :)  now here's the deal: one of the biggest parts of slovak culture that i remember is hospitality.  so many people showed me amazing hospitality.  there was always kava a kolačiky alebo keksy (coffee and cake-ish or crackers/snacks).  one of the big things i wanted to take with me from the year was a commitment to hospitality.  so, when i had a slovak coming to stay with me, i definitely felt the need to pull out all the stops. 

the problems are a few: 1-life is way more hectic than i would like it to be.  2-hospitality makes me anxious.  3-i'm living on student loans.

1-i tend to say yes to most things.  i know i'm an introvert and so i try to be intentional about participating in stuff.  that meant, however, that when my friend came, i had work the first day, my friend's ordination the third day, a meeting after church the fourth day, and class the morning he left (the fifth day).  i was busy.  we still got to hang out on friday and sunday, but i wish we could've hung out more and i could have really shown him more of chicago (it would also help if i knew more of chicago to show him, but i'm working on that).

2-i received such incredible hospitality in slovakia and i really want to show generous (maybe even extravagant) hospitality to others, especially slovaks, but it's hard.  i worry that i am not offering enough stuff, that i'm not spending enough time, that i'm not praying at the right times, that i'm messing it up.  i want to represent myself well, but sometimes i worry so much about it that i get in the way of just sitting and being.  hospitality is just so important to me that i have trouble getting it right.

3-complicating number 2, i don't have a ton of money to spend on hospitality.  i have a fair amount of food at my disposal (thanks to my job in the cafeteria and the leftovers i occasionally get to take home), but i don't have the means to pull out all the stops.  and yet, i try.  i try to buy dinner and make sure things are taken care of, but it too stresses me out.

so, i really appreciate hospitality and strive to be hospitable to others, but it's a stressful thing.  on top of all the rest, my roommate (or soon-to-be-roommate) is coming back to the apartment in two days (my friend left this morning), so there's a pretty quick turnover.  i'd like the place to be clean for her for a variety of reasons, but fairly back-to-back visits and travel makes it pretty tough. 

i was blessed by my friend, however, because sunday, when we decided not to go up the sears tower, he voluntarily (i tried multiple times to tell him it was fine or it was as good as it was going to get) did the dishes after lunch and then cleaned the stove!  he cleaned it better than it was when i moved in in august!  this morning while i was at class, he cleaned the sink as well!!  i struggle and i stressed and i did my best to be hospitable and yet he left my apartment far cleaner than when he found it and blessed me enormously by his presence, his friendship, and our conversations and time to reconnect (and, of course, the delicious slovak chocolate).

i am so far beyond grateful that others are way more gifted at both giving and receiving hospitality than i am.