the gospel according to mark, the 10th chapter:
2Some
Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce
his wife?” 3He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4They
said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce
her.” 5But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he
wrote this commandment for you. 6But from the beginning of creation,
‘God made them male and female.’ 7‘For this reason a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8and the two shall
become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9Therefore
what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10Then in the house the disciples asked him
again about this matter. 11He said to them, “Whoever divorces his
wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12and if she
divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
13People were bringing little children to
him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them.
14But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let
the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these
that the kingdom of God belongs. 15Truly I tell you, whoever does
not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16And
he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
the gospel of the lord
today’s readings are difficult for many of us. we hear words from
jesus that have been used for much of our lives to shame people, to keep people
in abusive relationships, and to increase brokenness and alienation in this
world.
the irony, of course, is that jesus’ intent is never to
increase brokenness, alienation, or shame.
jesus’ own context oftentimes gets lost in the midst of our
contexts. in jesus’ day women were understood as property. in
marriage they went from being the property of their father to being the
property of their husband.
as property, they were about as valuable
as the children they could produce, they were provided for by whoever “owned” them,
and they had no right to file for divorce.
men, however, could
file for divorce.
as you might imagine, this was problematic.
after all, if a woman is her husband’s property and then her husband
divorces her, whose property does she become? if she no longer
belongs to anybody, then how does she survive? who provides for and cares
for her? chances are she will live the rest of her life in
poverty with begging and prostitution as her only ways to provide for herself.
within this context, jesus’ words begin to fall in line with what god is
doing and has been doing since the beginning.
our god is a god of
relationship and a god who wants love and relationship for us.
the creation account we read today from genesis 2 is an early attempt by
god to provide some sort of relationship and love for us. this first
human being is just hanging out when god, like many well-intentioned couples i’ve
known over the years, comes along and says,
“you’re lonely!
[eager]
i’ll fix
that.
[look around for an animal]
here! have a cow.
[confused]
no? you don't want a cow?
[eager again]
what about a dog?
a lion?
[a little disappointed at the lack of success]
a snake
— no, no, not a snake i suppose
what about a slug or a snail? no, it might get squished.
i've got it: a porcupine!
[crestfallen]
no? hmm...no luck here...well, you go to sleep and i'll think of something.
...
good morning!! oh what's that? your side is sore? hmm, don't know anything about that—you should see what i have for you, though:
a human! y'all are made from the same thing, [nodding head knowingly] so this should be a good partnership!"
god searches and searches and eventually comes up with the idea of two
humans from hummus, two earth creatures from the earth, of one substance, joined
together as equals.
at the start, it’s just the human and god, but
god is quick to realize that humans need relationships that are a bit more
tangible. so, god comes up with pets; companion animals. for
many people, their relationship with their pet is one of care and concern and
through that relationship, they are able to nurture and steward love. this
is especially clear in the relationships people can have with their guide
animals. for many, this is enough; god’s first attempt works.
but
for many others it doesn’t quite cut it, so: god
creates another human.
we are relational beings and in creating us of the same substance, god
creates beings who have more in common than not. god creates humans
as relational beings so that we can be in relationship with and to each other. it
is god’s intent that we nurture and steward love and so we are able to do that
by being in relationship with each other: friends, family—by choice, by blood,
and by adoption, loved ones, and still pets.
jesus continues this pattern of adapting to our needs. first, god becomes
incarnate. recognizing our need for tangible relationship, jesus comes in
the flesh to be in relationship with us and to steward god’s love for us.
this love of god and
among us continues to expand as, in hebrews, as well as earlier in
mark 3, we have yet another way of
understanding the relationship and lo
ve we share;
this time, through jesus christ.
in hebrews we hear that jesus is “not
ashamed to call [us] brothers and sisters, saying, ‘i will proclaim your name
to my brothers and sisters, in the midst of the congregation i will praise you.’” and in mark 3
when jesus is confronted with a worried mother and worried siblings who think
he might be crazy, he declares that all those gathered with him are his sisters
and brothers and mothers.
jesus continues the pattern of redefining
relationships and providing more ways to nurture and steward love, recognizing
that we as humans also change and need to have ways to steward love that fit
with who we are.
here in today’s reading from mark, we encounter another redefinition. if
the current relationship set-up is that a woman could be left destitute at the
whim of her husband, jesus brings relationships of love and mutuality to the
forefront, back to god’s intent, holding those with power, in this case the
man, responsible.
ownership means taking responsibility, a countercultural move even today, as we are bombarded with messages that if something is slow, broken, or lack-luster, we are to throw it away and get something newer—faster—shinier. our
responsibility, our stewardship of things, of love, of life is a
countercultural move. care for and stewardship of what we own, of
those whom we love, and of creation all go against the culture of immediate
gratification found on tv sets, in the newspaper, and on billboards just about
everywhere.
as christians we are invited into a new way of being in which we are
given responsibilities in our relationships with creation and with each other, so that we
might be good stewards of those relationships and work to live god’s love in
our lives.
jesus provides some parameters so that we know god’s intent for us: to be
stewards of the relationships we have to each other. jesus helps us
to take responsibility for those relationships and gives power to those with
less power. jesus speaks of women divorcing men, which opens the
opportunity for women to get out of a relationship—not for the purpose of
getting into a new—shinier—faster one, but to get out of a bad situation.
jesus also calls the children to him. children, especially
babies, were, and to a great extent still are, humans with astonishingly little
power in the family.
yet jesus is indignant that the disciples try
to keep the children from being brought to him. these children who are probably sick
and sorry, poor and perhaps not long for life, are blessed by jesus.
jesus
comes to them and blesses them, nurturing love for them.
all of this is not to say that life is perfect or that everyone has
their special someone and will find them and that’s the end.
it’s
not.
sometimes we don’t get the relationships we want. it’s
a fact of life. some who want marriage never find that special
someone, marriages end in divorce or early death, people breakup, commitments
are broken with abuse.
some people have no desire for romantic
relationships.
and even when we do have the relationship we want, it
never seems to fit what we’re told we should have—at least i have
yet to receive my magic kiss and happy forever after, and i definitely do not
know anyone with 2.7 kids.
we are broken and sinful people
and pain happens.
we are diverse and saintly people and joy happens.
and still, somehow, in the midst of it all, we are drawn together; drawn into relationship with each other.
if two people decide to be in a publicly accountable, lifelong
relationship, they have the opportunity to come together before god and their
community to commit themselves to each other. while i was in
slovakia, i missed out on a wedding i really wanted to go to. as the
liturgical nerd that i am, when i visited the newly married couple, i got
really excited about their wedding liturgy, which they had very
intentionally crafted together.
the commitments they made were
both idealistic and realistic; committing to try their best and recognizing
that they would need help. they committed themselves to growing as individuals and together, as well as being open to the challenges they presented to each other.
the
thing that struck me the most was that, knowing especially that they wanted to have kids, they included “throughout my
life, regardless of the shape of our relationship” they would be in it
together. they recognized that they didn’t know the future and
couldn’t say for certain, but that no matter what, they will be in each other’s
lives in some way. they recognized their marriage for what it is, a
joining of lives and a commitment to being involved with each other.
there’s a reason jesus quotes genesis that “the two shall become one
flesh.” in relationships, we join together. there is no
way to cleanly separate ourselves and that’s part of what jesus is getting at. getting
into a new relationship after divorce does not and
cannot heal the brokenness that comes with the end of a relationship—with divorce. it
can create new life and can nurture new love, but it will never erase the past
relationship.
throughout today’s readings and throughout the bible, god continues to
redefine what it means to be in relationship: with animals, with creation, with
people, with friends and family, with each other. god is always there,
providing ever-newer ways of being stewards of love, of being in relationship,
of being family with each other. because the reality is: we are all family.
every sunday we get to experience god’s extra chances to be stewards
of god’s love. we begin here at the baptismal font, remembering our
baptisms, joining into this family of god. we confess our brokenness and
we are forgiven through the waters of baptism. then we come to the
table together as broken people to feast on a body broken for us.
jesus
comes to us and gives us and our relationships new ways to love and to steward god’s love, over and over each week. and
thanks be to god that god
never gives up on
us.
amen.